Tony Hogan Bought Me an Ice-Cream Float Before He Stole My Ma by Kerry Hudson

Author:Kerry Hudson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Group, USA
Published: 2014-01-28T05:00:00+00:00

11

The week of the curry Grandma came down on the National Express and as soon as she was inside the door, complaining about how her ankles had swelled to the size of grapefruits in the heat, Ma clung to her like she was the single piece of driftwood in a wild sea.

After a special dinner of pork chops that Ma had braved the stairs to go and buy, we settled back on the sofa and waited for Grandma to dish out some pearls of wisdom, but she just brought a bottle of sherry out of Aggie’s wheelie suitcase and spent the night giggling with Doug and giving him playful smacks on his knee.

When they had finished the bottle and Doug said he’d run out to the ‘offie’ if someone had some cash, Ma and I went through to the bedroom where I sewed my skip fur into a blob with an eye and Ma paced the room bow-legged and furious.

The next day Grandma was sent back to Aberdeen with a hangover and a put-upon face and Doug spent the whole day at Sammy’s. ‘Helping him with a job.’ Which was the truth if the job was a full bottle of whisky and games of gin rummy.

*

I was out playing the day that the baby started hammering on Ma’s womb. I came back to find Doug’s ma, hair wilder than usual, sitting in silence on the sofa. She hadn’t even made herself a cup of tea.

‘Gran, what are yeh doing here? Where’s Ma?’

‘Yer wee brother or sister’s come, so they’ve gone off in the ambulance.’

I stomped to the TV and switched it on. How could they just leave me with Gran who wouldn’t even turn on the TV or boil a kettle for a cup of tea herself? Who’d make my dinner?

After a while Gran said she would give me 50p for the ice-cream van if I’d make her a cup of tea and say a few Hail Marys with her for the new baby. We sat side by side on the sofa with heads bowed, muttering, and I wondered whether the baby liked lolly pops or Wham bars. It would have to be something it could suck on.

Coming back up the stairs with my Monster Munch and a cherry lolly I saw Mrs Mac on her knees bleaching her landing. She probably spent half her pension and most of her life trying to get rid of the piss smell outside her door and I wished I’d used my Hail Mary to ask for people to hold it. At least until they got to their own floor.

*

We called her Tiny until a name was given. I stopped thinking I’d have to plant a poo in a corner because even though she was a ‘good baby’ and had soft, dark hair like fur, she couldn’t talk and her face scrunched up when she cried.

Ma was tired when she came back from the hospital and for weeks she said she couldn’t think about moving from bed.

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